Posted on Apr 23, 2009 | Comments 0
Why do we have relationships in the first place? Some relationships bring us happiness and companionship.
Other relationships bring us material benefits. Ultimately, relationships are meant to be rewarding.
However, there are times when relationships get in the way of other relationships, work and time alone. Any time spent on one relationship takes your time away from another relationship.
Some days, loneliness sets in. Other days, the phone seems to ring off the hook. What do you do when your relationships feel unmanageable?
Whatâ€™s the most important thing in life?
How do we know which relationships have a greater priority over others? In the 21st century, many women are torn between their relationship with their children and their relationship with their bosses. [Ways to improve relationship]
Many mothers and fathers feel that they must work out of necessity, but no guilt is worse than the guilt of having neglected a developing child.
Ranking your priorities
Though children and finances should always be top priorities, other priorities are difficult to rank. If enough money is being brought into the household, should the father really take that promotion that will take him far away from the home?
Should your friend, who is in the middle of a breakup, take priority over your other friends? What if all of your friends are going through breakups?
How many relationships do you have? Do you have a spouse? Do you have children? Do you have parents? Relatives? Friends? Acquaintances? A best friend? Clients? Letâ€™s say you only have friends? Letâ€™s say you have dozens of friends who are always calling and wanting to hang out? What do you do?
Reciprocity in Relationships
Any time you give to one relationship is time taken away from another relationship. Barring your relationship with your children, every relationship should have some type of mutual benefit.
If your friend is not willing to give the same attention and empathy as you to the relationship, this friend does not deserve as much of your time as a friend who shows a willingness to listen to you and understand the real you. Of course, if you expect this out of a relationship, you should also give the same back.
Be open about your feelings and your business
If you feel bogged down, let it be known. At the very least, you will see which of your friends are takers.
For many of your less self-centered friends, you will do them a favor by clarifying that you are not avoiding them but simply really short on time. Unless blinded by ego, good friend should understand that you cannot only be so many places at once.
Learn to say no
This is the most difficult step to follow for most people. None of us like to see the look of disappointment that stretches across a friendâ€™s face. Even at a young age, weâ€™ve always had a desire to please others. For this reason, we must practice saying it all the more. [Ways to say No]
The ‘No’ word is a tricky one. Say it too much and you come across as incompetent and selfish. When saying the no word, remember that you are not saying no to the relationship or the other partnerâ€™s happiness. You are saying no to stress and exhaustion. You are saying yes to happiness and free time.