You cannot and will not be happy, successful, and at peace unless you take a good honest look at yourself first. You must take stock of all of the negatives so that you can get to work on your life. Below are 4 ways in which to start:
- Get to know what other people like about you. Ask someone close to you to tell you honestly how he or she views you. Have that person rate you and your specific traits on a scale of one to five. Do people describe you as your own worst enemy? If they do, you need to work on your self-knowledge to understand why.
- Determine what you expect to achieve in life. This is what you expect, not what you hope or dream for.
- Consider your life for a moment. What drives you? What inhibits you?
- Evaluate how you handle compliments. This is a good barometer of how you feel about yourself because if you accept them naturally without seeking them out you have strong self-approval and a sense of worthiness. Can you accept compliments without discomfort, or do you always have to take exception or deflect them? Do you crave compliments to the point that you will do anything to get them?
Once you begin to know and understand yourself more completely, then you must accept and love yourself. Self-approval is crucial to changing your life and pursuing your dreams and goals. Self-hatred, guilt, and long-standing anger block your growth. Practice self-love and forgiveness and they will carry over into your relationships, your work and the world around you.
By loving yourself, you open up the possibility for others to love you, too. Work to remove the psychological blinders that restrict your own growth. Understand yourself and your motives and the influences in your life and open yourself up. Direct your energy away from self-destruction or self-loathing. Forgive yourself. Forgive those who have hurt you. Give yourself self-approval and permission to move on.
Right now, write down all your bad habits and faults and all the mistakes you have made in your life. Did you hurt someone? Did you malign someone? Did you waste an opportunity? Have you written down everything that has nagged and eaten at you over the years? Good. Now take that piece of paper, tear it to shreds and throw it away. Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on. The way to your dreams is now clear!
Committing Your Goals to a Written List
To qualify as a goal, whatever you want to achieve must be written down. Non-written goals, therefore, are not goals at all. Don’t catch yourself saying, “I have goals and I know what they are, so I don’t need to write them down.” Non-written goals are unclear and nonspecific, with details that tend to change each time you think about them. Putting each goal in writing crystallizes it into a set of fixed details. The clearer the goal, the more easily it can be achieved.
In a notebook, create a page and have it labeled “Goals List” and write down each of your goals, one on each line. Also, create a separate page and label it your â€œDream Listâ€. Refer back to the Dreams List you have already made to see if the achievement of each of your goals will help you realize your dreams. If so, you are heading in the right direction. Also review your Dreams List to see if any of your dreams qualify for immediate inclusion on your Goals List. Keep your blueprint someplace handy where you can update your Goals List and refer to it often. When you have accomplished each goal, cross it off the list. Remember, each goal you accomplish takes you one step closer to the life of your dreams.
Creating Affirmations & Limiting Your Doubts
An affirmation is a statement of truth you make firm by repetition. Affirmations always take place in the present; hence the wording is always present tense. “I am a successful orchestral conductor, making $100,000 per year,” is how to state an affirmation, not, “I’m going to be…” or “I really want to be….” or “If it’s not too much trouble, I’d really like to be….”
Make an affirmation for:
- Your purpose
- Your Big Dream
- Each of the goals along the path to the Big Dream.
Read each affirmation out loud at least 1,000 times. (An hour each for your Purpose and Big Dream; 30 minutes each for your other goals.)
When you affirm, all that is between you and fulfilling that dream surfaces – in other words, the drawbacks of your â€œcomfort zone.â€ Expect fear, guilt, unworthiness, hurt feelings, anger and discouragement to do what they do to get you to stop. Keep going.
To bring up the limitations faster, look at yourself in the mirror while repeating your affirmation out loud. You can record your affirmations on an endless-loop cassette (the kind used for outgoing messages in answering machines) and play it softly in the background no matter what else is going on.
You can get an earphone and play your tape on a portable stereo wherever you go. Talk about your portable paradise. You can put your affirmations on the walls of your sanctuary so that you see them every time you come in.