Posted on Apr 18, 2006 | Comments 0
You might remember the moment you realized that this was the person you were destined to marry. Those memories are special reminders of the excitement of a new relationship of the joy that comes when you have fallen in love.
Then, reality sets in. Possibly it occurred during the first month of your marriage. Or perhaps it happened within a year of your wedding. It might not have occurred until five years after your marriage.
Causes of Marital Stress
In some cases, you suddenly find that you are under a great deal of stress and you found that the cause of stress is your spouse. There may be tensions like financial stress, parenthood stress and tensions over where to live.
At times, the friction may seem lighthearted; you might be engaged in a knockdown, drag-out fight over when to have child or who is responsible for the overflowing toilet.
While we would all like marriage to be a blissful experience, the fact of the matter is that it is a situation ripe with stress. There is the daily stress of simply trying to live together in accord, in addition to the occasional strains over various disagreements.
If you or your loved one has just been diagnosed with cancer or a serious heart condition, the tension can be magnified. The tensions between the two of you can also shoot up, if your child has just been arrested for drug possession.
Marital stress can be entirely manageable. For instance, you can diffuse a great deal of tension just by making a commitment to spend more time together. A number of couples benefit from scheduling a â€œdate nightâ€ when they make sure that they spend a few hours alone.
The date night can include dinner, dancing, or just a walk in the woods. The important thing is to simply reconnect, to rediscover all those things that caused you to fall in love in the first place.
Another technique that can help you to handle marital stress is to schedule a â€œcoupleâ€™s meetingâ€ each week. This is a time set aside for re-focusing on your priorities, to discuss any problems that have come up during the week, and to plan ahead for the coming week. At times, you might have disagreements during such meetings. But the important thing is to communicate and to do so consistently.
You might also find it helpful to engage in some recreational activity together. Whether itâ€™s skiing, using nautilus equipment, or bowling, exercise can be relaxing and can help you to better manage your stress level.
Exercise also allows you to see your spouse in a different lightâ€”as a partner rather than a competitor. In the end, you might find that you are both happier and healthier as a result of exercise.
Communication With Each other
But what if your marital stress becomes unbearable? The important thing is to keep the lines of communication open between yourself and your spouse. But, if you still find yourself to be under a great deal of stress, consider consulting an outside party.
Marital stress is serious business. It can easily lead to divorce, if it is not dealt effectively. A divorce you might regret later on. Make a commitment to deal with marital stress as soon as it appears.
That way, you can work to ensure that small problems do not lead to big ones, exacerbating your marital stress. By following some simple steps, you can re-charge your batteries, manage stress, and fall in love with your spouse all over again.
Posted in: Stress Management