Posted on Jan 11, 2010 | Comments 0
Many people think they will just handle a death when it happens to them.
Unfortunately death is more difficult than anyone can imagine and you donâ€™t know how shocking and grief stricken you will be until it happens.
Therefore understanding the stages and phases of grief before you have to experience them could be a very good thing to do.
The first stage of grieving are the feelings of shock and denial. People can feel shock and denial for hours and up to weeks after the death of someone they loved. People may feel they just canâ€™t absorb what has just happened.
People oftentimes describe the feelings associated with the first phase as being numb and not being able to feel or not being attached to their emotions. The main thing to remember in the first phase of grieving is to allow yourself the time and permission to feel whatever you need to feel.
With the second phase of grief come the feelings of pain and guilt. People can expect to feel anything from extreme mood swings where they feel good one moment and overly sad the next to extreme exhaustion and even to a sense of guilt that someone caused the personâ€™s illness or death.
The best way to deal with the feelings of pain and guilt in the second phase of grieving are, to talk about your feelings of guilt with someone. Also remind yourself the feelings you are experiencing are normal and remind yourself you are not at fault.
The third phase of grief brings feelings of anger, frustration and bitterness. During the third phase you will experience feelings of bitterness and you may want to avoid certain social situations.
When people around you complain about stupid and trivial things this will irritate you and when people express their sympathy that too may irritate you.
The best way for you to deal with the third phase of grief is to avoid people that bring you down or donâ€™t make you feel good. Just put certain relationships on hold for awhile until you are better adept at handling them.
Now you are ready for stage four of the grieving process. In phase four you should experience feelings of acceptance and resolution.
You may feel you are being dragged back into the real world and you may not yet feel quite ready. You may also feel you are finally waking up or that you have a new-found sense of strength and can make it through these tough times.
Posted in: Self Help