When we have lost someone important to us, experiencing grief is a natural and healthy response.
It allows us to release our feelings and to begin to heal our loss.
The ultimate goal of grieving is to be able to move past the loss and continue with our lives, not to forget the person we have lost or deny their place in our lives.
Some people do not experience healthy grief. They become mired in their feelings of loss, unable to move forward, or sometimes unwilling, to allow the healing process to run its course.
For some, it is because they feel, even if only subconsciously, that moving on and healing is somehow disrespectful to the person they have lost.
Sometimes it is easier to see that lost person as the source of our identity as a person than to take on responsibility for our own lives.
Perhaps we just feel more comfortable in the role of victim, or the one abandoned, but to use our loss in such a way is truly to be disrespectful of the person we have lost.
Any healthy individual would want those who loved him or her to heal and move on with their lives. If you are holding on to grief in an unhealthy way, you are doing it for yourself, not for the person you lost. [how to deal with grief]
There is a cycle of emotions we experience when grieving. If you find you are stuck in one of these emotional positions, ask yourself why and work toward acceptance.