Do People Love Who You Are or Who You Were?

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selfhelpWe all change, regardless of whether or not we try not to. We learn things. Life imprints new ideas into our minds.

Despite this, those who value us often wish we would not change for a variety of reasons.

Sometimes they want us to stay the same because of nostalgia.

Other times they got something out of the old you that they are afraid they will lost in the new you.

But beyond that, people often fear your change because they fear the unknown and they fear what might come next from you. This is a selfish reaction because those in your life are not trying to change you for you.

Instead, they are trying to change you for them. So how do you resist them without losing them as friends?

Everyone has a right to express their thoughts and feelings

Our emotions are a part of who we are. When your friends express dismay over your change, remember that when people are expressing their thoughts and feelings, they are giving you an opportunity to understand why they think what they do.

At the very least, you will know what you are up against. But if you care about the person who is resisting your change, you will probably want to know what is causing that feeling of  sadness and how to fix that person’s sadness over your change.

Just pay attention to what your loved one is saying. If they ask you any questions about your change, give them a respectful answer as to why you are changing the way you are.

State your position as clearly and articulately as possible so that your loved ones understand where you’re coming from.

Spend time getting to know you

Do not let other people overwhelm you. Be aware that you need time to sort through your thoughts and feelings so that you do not find yourself manipulated by others.

Think carefully to what your friends are saying and compare this to the reasons why you began changing in the first place.

Recall your experiences before changing or taking decisions. Then think analytically about what other people are saying. Are they right? If you really think they are right, then reverse your course.

Are they only partially right? Then partially push yourself in the direction that they want you to go. Are they completely wrong? Then ignore them. Why would you want to do something that is going to make your life worse for people who are wrong?

Posted in: Self Help

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