Posted on Aug 24, 2007 | Comments 2
Set a goal for yourself. Start with a weekly goal that you can attain.
A sample goal may be to say â€œnoâ€ three times during the week, when you normally would have said yes.
For instance, the PTA chairman may call and ask you to donate some time to an upcoming event.
Instead of saying yes when you really donâ€™t have the time, say no.
Although you may feel guilty about saying no, you need to establish a new habit, one of saying what you really mean.
After several such instances it will become easier to do. At the end of the week you will feel good about yourself and will be closer towards developing self-confidence.
Self confidence builds on self-confidence. The more you have, the easier it is to have more. Confidence builds on itself. Negativity tears it down. Continue to work towards changing your negative behaviors. Recognize that you wonâ€™t be perfect.
You will have days that you slip back into old behaviors. Donâ€™t let that get you down. Donâ€™t beat yourself up for the slip. Instead, realize what you could have done differently and move on.
Set goals for yourself. These goals should be small and easily obtainable. This will help you reach larger goals. If a goal is too large, then it is easy to just stop trying to reach it.
Instead, break larger goals up into smaller goals. These are more easily attained and build positive self-confidence along the way.
Start by setting daily goals using your calendar. Use a to-do list if you are comfortable with it, and check off items when they are completed. Prioritize your list so you do the most important tasks first, and any tasks that donâ€™t get completed can be carried over to the next day.
Tame your perfectionist side by knowing that you donâ€™t need to finish everything in one day. Praise yourself for keeping on task and getting a lot accomplished. Carry over the goal setting into your personal calendar as well.
Habits are learned behaviors that are repeated over and over until they become like second nature. Some habits are good, others can be bad. The only way to break a bad habit is to be aware of the habit and consciously work towards changing the behavior.
Negative self-criticism is a habit that you can work towards changing. So is the habit of saying yes when you really mean no.
Research has shown that a habit can be changed after at least 21 days of repetition.
How to change your behavior?
- One way to change a behavior is to replace a negative behavior with a positive reward. Every time you find yourself thinking negative thoughts about yourself replace those thoughts with positive thoughts.
- Affirmations are positive thoughts that are very helpful in this type of replacement.
- Think about ways that you criticize yourself. Write down all the examples you can think of. You may want to carry a notebook with you and make a note each time you have a negative self-thought. Write down what you were doing and feeling when you had the thought. By reviewing the notebook you can figure out what your worst areas are and concentrate on changing those first.
How to change your habit?
- Habits are learned behaviors and you can learn to eliminate or change them. Work on one habit a month.
- Trying to change multiple habits at once will set you up for failure on all of them. First, you need to determine what habits you have and then decide which ones need to be changed.
- Habits are formed over time as a mechanism to deal with something in your life. Many times we do not realize that a certain behavior or way of reacting to something is a habit. If you examine them more closely, you can find the underlying cause of the behavior and therefore will be able to change it.
Habits took a long time to form, and commitment on your part is needed in order to try to break the habit. Remember to be persistent. Even if you feel as though you arenâ€™t making progress, continue to try.
Behavioral habits arenâ€™t as easy to monitor as physical habits, such as smoking. Sometimes the only barometer you have about a habit may be your own gut feelings. In other words, you may begin to notice that you are feeling more self-confident.
You can and should enlist the help of friends or family when trying to break a habit. They can be very helpful in pointing out when you do the behavior and can support you in breaking the habit. Explain the entire situation to them so they can better help you.
How to set a goal?
Step One â€“ Determine what you want.
There are eight main life categories that need to be evaluated. Use these categories for the rest of the exercise.
- Material goals
- Family and friends
- Health or fitness
What causes painful feelings or have difficult situations that you want to change? Make a list of any of these situations. Keep in mind all the areas of your life.
Now for each item you wrote down, write a corresponding positive goal. Think of at least one specific thing you can do to change the situation.
Evaluate and prioritize these into goals. Decide the length of time you may need to spend working on each one. Start with the highest priority item and work on the goal. Take some time every week to examine how you are doing.