Posted on May 25, 2006 | Comments 0
Nothing makes your self-esteem soar more than achieving a lofty goal. On the other hand, nothing can be more intimidating than failing to meet your goal. Without clear goals, it’s too easy to drift through life without making definite assurances to ourselves.
As a result, we may wake up one day and find our children grown and our days pretty much our own. Yet we still haven’t found the time for those golf lessons we wanted to take when we turned thirty.
How Can Goals Build Self Esteem?
Perhaps deciding what it is that we want is the trickiest part of getting what we want out of life is. You must know exactly what you want before you set goals is one major misconception about goal-setting. Actually, one of the best ways to clarify what you want is to set goals.
You can constantly reevaluate whether or not your chosen path is the one you want to pursue while attaining them. Have you ever noticed that when you set a goal – a new car, a more challenging job, or a vacation – that it manifests more quickly? Your subconscious makes sure it’s leading you straight to the perceived goal
Goal-setting is a form of starting over, but it requires a kind of spring cleaning before you begin. It’s called “clearing.” For the clearing process to work on a certain belief, you must learn to accept yourself sympathetically for having this belief while at the same time seeing clearly that you’re ready to let go of it because it’s limiting, self-destructive and untrue.
Effective Goal Setting
Goal setting is the key that unlocks the door to positive self-esteem. You may want to get together with a group of like-minded friends who are also ready to make changes in their lives. Or you may feel more relaxed working on your own. Just remember, however, that when you hit a snag (and you will), groups are an effective way to get you past the rough spots.
The process itself can cause a certain amount of anxiety is one of the reasons we don’t set goals. Since goals are dreams with deadlines, they can connect the here and now with the process of achievement. There are, nevertheless, some traps associated with goal-setting.
- Overly complex goals: Don’t allow yourself to get carried away with goals that are too complex or unattainable.
- Goals that aren’t measurable: Maybe you want to be a better parent. How do you know when you’ve achieved this goal? The never-ending challenge of “being a better parent” will exhaust you, and your guilt won’t magically go away. Instead, spend some time thinking about what would mean a lot to you and your children. It should involve a measurable amount of time with a definite deadline: say, a camping trip. Get your kids involved in the planning stage so they can share in the excitement.
li>Goals that aren’t what you want, but what you think you should want: Goal-setting is for ourselves, not something we do to please others. Don’t get caught up in setting goals that are “sensible” or “mature” or even logical. You may be spending the next year of your life achieving your goal, so make it fun, experimental and meaningful.
Posted in: Self Confidence