The Greatest Obstacle to Success
The fear of failure is the single greatest obstacle to success in adult life.
Taken to its extreme, we become totally pre-occupied with not making a mistake, with seeking for security above all other considerations.
The experience of the fear of failure is in the words of â€œI canâ€™tâ€, â€œI canâ€™t.â€ We feel it in the front of the body, starting at the solar plexus and moving up to the rapid beating of the heart, rapid breathing and a tight throat.
We also experience this fear in the bladder and in the irresistible need to run to the bathroom.
The Fear of Rejection Holds You Back
The second major fear that interferes with performance and inhibits expression, is the fear of rejection. We learn this when our parents make their love conditional upon our behavior.
If we do what pleases them, they give us love and approval. If we do something they donâ€™t like, they withdraw their love and approval â€” which we interpret as rejection.
The Roots of Type A Behavior
As adults, people raised with conditional love become preoccupied with the opinions of others.
Many men develop Type A behavior which is characterized by hostility, suspicion and an obsession with performance to some undetermined high standard.
This is expressed in the attitude of â€œI have to,â€ I have to,â€ and is associated with the feeling that â€œI have to work harder and accomplish more in order to please the bossâ€ who has become a surrogate parent.
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