Getting married has always been a big matter of adjustment for the wife, husband and if you are getting settled in an already set up extended family then probably it is one of a more tough job to get adjusted. It actually involves a lot more additional challenges and adjustments.
Here are few important tips to help you to get bonded with your step kids
1. Being civil – Always try to be very friendly, approachable and civil with your step children.
2. Relationships must be respectful – This is not just information for the kids involved but also their new parent. Kids’ behaviour toward the adults and vice versa must be respectful. You must remember respect is something that not only is based on age, hence in both ways parents and children must pay respect to each other.
3. Emotionally connected – You must always try to create an honest and open environment at home that is free from partiality, judgment and biasness. This will also help your kid feel comfortable and make them emotionally connected to their step-parent. You should listen to your step child about their perspective. Remember they might take things emotionally and mentally and hence your decision and dictates counts a lot.
4. Appreciate and encourage your child – Children of all ages like to get admirations and value and hence they highly expect you to appreciate and encourage their deeds. They expect proper respond and praise for their contributions.
5. Give quality time – Always remember you will never be able to get close with your step children instantly. You can enjoy cooking, gardening, reading, a sport or movies, etc and spend time with him/her to be closer. Do not hurry up in these cases as they are emotional attachment. A step-parent/stepchild relationship grows over time and not within one single day. If you really want to establish a strong relationship with your step child, try taking small steps to show them your love and support.
6. Build a new relationship – Another tip for a step parent is to try building a new bond and relationship with your new child. Avoid taking the place of their biological parent. Remember a child’s heart has plenty of room for everyone. Try to capture that instead.
7. Open up – Always allow your step children to open up and cry in front of you. Allow them to talk to you about their thoughts, ideas, their own thinking, friends and boy friend problems, their peer pressure, study, about their biological parent etc. Never make them feel that you are someone outsider, unknown or new to their family.
8. Give importance to them – Try to be a good listener. Do not ignore them or what they are saying, for even if it is not that important. Try to be more and more understanding and lovable to them. Attend all school functions and activities they are participating in. Make them feel you all are family
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