Kids learn some principles of success near the beginning of life. There are many ways to clarify some principles of success to children and to help them understand.
Some methods don’t need that you do all the talking, just that you guide the learning process. So your children can picture your main concern values for them selves. Part of the picture knows which behaviors express the value and which behavior express the opposite.
Your goal is to help your children develop a helpful affect response to adopting each of your values. One of your jobs as a parent is to explain your principles in behavioral terms. It is true that clever decisions make us feel good inside.
And our actions affect the feelings of friends and parents. Children recognize the affecting results of behaving in agreement with each value. In other words, it feels good to do the right thing Help your children learn to recognize that making wise decisions helps them feel good about them.
When your child comes home from school and proudly tells you how well he or she did on a spelling or history test, express your positive response, and then verify your child’s positive response.
Say, “When you work hard and do well, you feel proud, don’t you?” Then ask, “What else do you feel?” Parents are Encourage children to identify as many positive feelings that come from acting on one of the values you have been teaching.
Encourage them to stretch out in those positive feelings. During dinner, invite them to share what they did and how good it made them feels. Entire family can understand your thoughts and you respond to positive behaviors and choices.
As an option say, “Even though I love you, when you are unkind, I feel very disappointed.” This way it becomes clearer to your child that you are rejecting the behavior, not the child. It is important to explain why you feel disappointed, angry, or sad.
If your clarification makes sense to your child, it will have greater force on the future. Individually give the positive feedback both to your child and in front of the rest of the family, but only give negative feedback individually. A good rule is: Praise in public; correct in private.”
Values demonstrate to the children
When they demonstrate your values to your children know how satisfied, thrilled, pleased, happy, excited, joyous, and proud. The parents also let them know how disappointed, depressed, displeased, sad, unhappy, upset, angry, and embarrassed you are when they act on values that are opposite from yours. The emotional response focus must be the behavior, not the child. Don’t say, “I am unhappy when you are a bad boy.â€
Another feature is helping your Children know that what they do and how the behave other people will respond emotionally.
The main responder will be the person who is directly affected by the behavior: the schoolmate with whom your child is unselfish, the friend who is treated unkindly, and the child at school who is positively impacted by your child’s self-control the friend who discovers your child to be faithful.