Posted on May 10, 2010 | Comments 0
There may be much number of different reasons why a relationship ended: it was abusive, unequal, unhappy making, it was just wrong for you. However, once that breaking point is reached, and the relationship is at an end, what then? It is natural to feel feelings of hurt, grief, powerlessness, even failure, disorientation, self-doubt, depression and despair at the end of the relationship; how you overcome this is what is important:
Acceptance: The end of a relationship may not be of your choice; it may not be of your initiation. However, if things are at an end, one needs to take stock of the situation and accept it.
It may be easier said than done, but it is best not to hanker after what may have been.
Once there is an acknowledgement and acceptance of the fact that the relationship is over, you can start to recover from it.
It is difficult indeed to let go of a person you have come to depend on; that you count on being there for you; so it may be excruciating to be â€œyouâ€ again after a long period of being â€œusâ€.
But acceptance of the end of a relationship and of being single again is important before you start the process of healing. Look upon it as a time to actually focus within; an opportunity to concentrate solely on your needs rather than having to prioritize for someone else.
Support: You may be surprised how much time and caring you can get from people such as close friends and family at a time like this. So at a difficult time such as when a relationship has ended, friends and family are likely to want to be there for you; let them help, let them offer support and donâ€™t shut them out. They really want to help; and for you to be surrounded by people who love you is important and reinforcing for your sense of self at such a time.
Letting go of the bitterness and the resentment: Remember, there are two sides to every story and if yours ended badly, donâ€™t presume that it was all the fault of the other person.
Donâ€™t blame the other person entirely; be prepared to shoulder some of it for yourself. Equally donâ€™t accept all of the blame; it takes two to make a relationship work and if it did not; there are likely to be faults on both sides. Accept that some relationships are just not meant to be; so that you can move on.
Posted in: Love & Relationships