Posted on Oct 26, 2009 | Comments 0
Whether you are a mother or father, a daughter or son, you most likely are dealing with the changing relationship between your parent or child and yourself.
Throughout our lives the relationship moves from caretaker and dependent to needing guidance and guidance counselor and then to independent yet persuasive and parents trying to find their niche.
As a child you can expect your relationship to change numerous times through your life with your parents. Probably the biggest change will be when you graduate college and the second biggest will be if and when you get married.
Many parents (most parents actually) have difficulties letting their children embrace their new-found independence while going away to college for the first time.
Many parents as well have difficulties relinquishing any control or persuasion they had on their child when you get married.
Parents have to learn how to go from parent, guidance counselor, disciplinarian and advisor to buddy yet guidance counselor when the child goes to college. And parents also have to go from guidance counselor to relinquishing all control and inspiration to their child when the child forms a bond and household with another person.
When two people combine to form a home when they get married they usually take some portions of both of their worlds. It is difficult for a parent to see that their child has not incorporated certain aspects of their child or their household into their new life with their significant other.
Parents need to remember that everyone is raised differently and in some cases where different religions or politics are involved, raised very differently. It is these times that is it only natural for both partners to have to compromise and bring in what they feel they want and need to hang onto. [how to compromise]
Children meanwhile when they become adults oftentimes suffer from extreme guilt when changing their patterns or their ways of life. The best thing parents can do is realize they raised their child to the best of their ability and their job is pretty much done now and it is time to relinquish the control and need to persuade their child.
It is time to come to terms with the child possibly changing religions, political affiliation, going from vegetarian to carnivore or anything else.
Neither position is easy; parent or child and the best thing you can do as either is keep understanding and lines of communication open.
Posted in: Love & Relationships