Posted on Apr 05, 2010 | Comments 0
The old joke goes, that if love is blind, then how come lingerie is so popular! However, there is certainly something to the clichÃ© that love is blind; and that many of us tend to negate or downplay the negative aspects of our partner choosing not to; or being unable to see the faults because of the idealized image we have of the loved one.
This blindness about love can stem from a hurried and therefore erroneous initial assessment of a person. Love at first sight is a classic example: you see, you like/love what you see and endow the person with a number of traits. This initial evaluation may be based on what you want to see and believe rather than what you actually perceive.
Practically speaking you are not going to know all about a person soon after just having met them, and yet if you feel that you have made a full assessment of the person and have found only good qualities in that short span of time, the pitfalls are obvious.
A typical scenario could go something like this: a woman has always dreamt of meeting that one man who is good looking and is sensitive, thoughtful, witty and socially adept.
She then meets a person who, on the face of it seems to be having these things. He is good looking, which instantly sparks the initial attraction. At the time one is likely blinded even to obvious flaws. And since the woman had always yearned for that sensitive, thoughtful, witty and socially adept partner, she sees those qualities in him.
The initial ignorance about the person and endowing them with a number of positive qualities means that a person may later be reluctant to admit that they were wrong.
What happens in this scenario is that the woman fell in love with the idea of love. This is another clichÃ©, but it can happen, and does happen all too often. There may be an inability to see the negative traits of the object of oneâ€™s affection or the tendency to create an idealized image of the person which is actually rather off the mark.
Many relationships that end in divorce have the person typically say something like â€œI donâ€™t know how I was so blind!â€ This could be a result of the initial euphoria of a relationship that evaporates when reality sets in.
So by all means concentrate on the good qualities of your mate rather than the bad ones, it makes for long lasting happiness. But do not be blind to the bad qualities at the inception, lest you find at a later stage that there are things in the person you simply cannot stand!
Posted in: Love & Relationships