Posted on Oct 06, 2007 | Comments 1
Just imagine this scenario:
Consider a situation like, if you have been cheated by your partner for long years, and the moment when you came to know about it, you realize and say that “It’s over”.
After that you have suffered so much for the vanished love and tried so much to cope with the situation.
One day one of your friends tells you to go online and join online dating.
In think “online dating” is not a new concept to you. Before, you have attempted to join the most popular dating sites.
But, at that time you really have not much interest on it thinking that you have found the perfect partner.
But it is not the case, your situation placed you to deeply search for a friend. Finally you have chatted with someone whom you don’t know.
Very soon enough, you get close to each other and also exchanging romantic emails everyday. After that, you have exchanged your addresses, phone numbers, and mailing flowers, smileys, chocolates, romantic quotes and “I Love You’s” also. Am I right?
Once exchanging those sweet lines, finally you have decided to meet each other. You have tried to set your first met as very special. You have decided one date, the settings of the place where you want to meet, and finally you have decided which colored dress to wear.
Afterwards, start dreaming of something romantic. Dream about something that you think will be the most interesting event in your life. At last when you see the person, you experience like you have butterflies in your stomach.
If you are in the situation which I was said, then I can tell one TRUTH that “once cyber love has arrived then you have no chance to run from it”.
The Basics Of Cyber Relationship:
In the earlier days of the internet, online dating was not that much popular. In those days, individuals who want to meet their special ones to share some romantic feelings, the only way was through personal contacts. Most of you call it as “personal introductions”.
After the advent of internet, all the things have changed. People started to date with the person who met online. They started communicating with each other through chat rooms, message boards, or even mail lists. On their first meet, a flash of love started.
Frankly speaking, online dating does not suitable for the people who are searching for virtual or real life partners.
The fact you need to understand is “even if you are not looking for romance, in future you will experience some situations in which you may be stroke with a hint of romance. After that, you have found yourself on a cyber trap.
Don’t feel guilty, if you are on a cyber trap. Sometimes you may obtain great results from online dating. This is because; online dating has its own advantages.
- One of the most beneficial effects of online dating is people who don’t feel comfortable to meet people in public places can communicate through internet.
- It will also beneficial, if you have busy schedule and you have children whom you need to take care of then you don’t have enough time to meet new friends.
- Internet gives you a chance to meet and know individuals of all ages, gender and groups.
- Internet gives you access to the outside world.
Online dating has some disadvantages also,
- It is not safe for people who are in online dating and falling head over heels in love in the net. There are many cases of unsuccessful relationships which begin on internet.
- Individuals with failed relationships have suffered from pains and heartaches for several months and even years also.
- The most horrible thing about cyber relationships is most of the people who were sufferers of this died of suicide.
If you are unaware of these horrible situations, it is not too late. Open your eyes now and look into the world. It happened, happening and will happen.
So, keep all these things in your mind and think for a billion times before you fall into the trap of cyber dating and cyber relationships. Ask yourself for several times if you really want or if you are really ready to take the challenges.
If you are not confident about your decision to go and meet him/her personally after you have shared all those sweet notes, it is better to ask someone whom you know and think he can help you to handle the situation in a positive way.
I think you have lot of friends who can help you to decide on it. You need to be very careful, whatever your decision is.
Comparison Between Cyber Romance And Real Life Romance:
Most of you have doubt about, what makes cyber romance different from a real life romance. Well, the answer is so simple – each one had its own mode of development.
Cyber romance! This will be developed for the people who are on internet without even knowing the person as personal as possible. The primary tolls for your connection and communication are computer and internet.
After that everything will be developed just within a matter of virtual exchanges, whether it may be notes, emails, smiles, flowers, or romantic quotes.
Communication has a great part in cyber romance. After all, this is your major way of connection and communication.
Even you have not seen the person there is a great chance to fall in deep love just because of the words he/she used in his/her messages. You feel like in heaven just with the messages that convey the person’s feelings.
Communication has a great part on the romantic development, so cyber romance demands for much of imagination, personality and intellect.
Real life romance! When comes to real life romance, the things that happen are exactly reverse of the cyber romance. The things first you reveal or share are about outside beauty and only after all the battles are won then we begin to show off and share a part of our inner selves.
In real life romance we are more concerned about the physical beauty of the person. Even if you deny it, this is the fact that counts at the first meeting.
This is the reason that many of those who are matched with someone unknown really do the best they can just impress the person on the first meeting. Both men and women try to adjust their hair and clothes before going out for a real life date to look beautiful.
A Warning Sign:
So, till now you knew all the basics of cyber relationship with its advantages and disadvantages. In order to get full grip about the concept, you need to know how to stay safe in case if you have fallen into the trap of cyber dating.
You need to do a number of things in order to make yourself safe and free from scams and all those evils lurking on the cyberspace. Want to know everything about it? If so then I found no reason for you not to continue reading.
Search and ask for information as much as you can!
Before going to join in online dating, it is better to ask as many questions as possible. It is beneficial if you clear all your doubts about online dating. This is helpful for you in knowing the person you are chatting with better.
Possibly it is best if you ask something that is personal. You may get information about the person on his/her personal life from his/her online profile.
Start asking about, where he/she grew up, in what kind of environment, where he/she is working or his/her connections to a certain groups or organizations. By knowing information for all these questions you can understand and know who the person really is.
Be doubtful, but don’t make your doubts clear when you are asking your questions. If the person gets any doubt about your questions then the person won’t answer you as honestly as possible.
So, be careful from that mistake. If you observe that he/she is unwilling to divulge anything that is personal then immediately you can immediately stop chatting with his/her.
The other way to determine whether the person you are chatting is lying or not is to look for any signs of inconsistencies in the person’s stories.
For some instance if the person remains unwilling to answer any of your personal questions, again he/she gives a false line. So, continue asking until you have figure out how is honest the person with you are chatting.
Phone calls can help you:
Phone calls may cost you a lot. Still, if you are into online dating and you feel you have fallen head over heels for someone you have never known personally yet then a phone call could help you in knowing the person you are dating online.
You will get a doubt that how come you know about the person with a phone call.
Hearing his/her voice lead to know whether the person is honest? For some extent it works.
You can know a lot about the person and you can identify the degree of social and communication skills the person is possessing.
By knowing the person’s skills on those fields can greatly help you to indentify how socialized the person is. Don’t give your personal contact number to remain secure from the person with you are chatting and dating on web.
When you feel comfortable with the person with you have met online, you can give your number.
Simply don’t believe with whatever you have read and seen:
Most of you simply believe everything written and shown on the internet. It does not mean that the web is the home of scams and all of such kind, also not all the online dating sites are liars. What I want to say is there is a greater chance for scams to lurk at the corners of the web.
You need to put a lot of information when you consider online dating as a serious venture. Still, most of the information are just sorts of tricks, most are not true. Researchers said that men are most prone to this mistake, whereas women spend a lot to think about it.
So, whenever you observe some guy profile on the internet saying that loves to walk romantically on the beach and sets “when harry met sally” as his favorite movie, don’t simply believe on them.
Practically think and recognize that truth that most men fairly choose to spend a night watching a basketball game than to have a romantic walk on the beach. The key here is simply to realize about what they are saying.
Watch out for a person who is “Too good to be true”:
Most of the people in online dating reveal stories and act as if they are really honest and true. So, you need to watch out for a person who is too good to be true.
How to determine the honesty of the person? Other than asking personal questions, it is better to open up a communication by private means. Emails and chats are also good way to know someone better. Exchange personal stories and even silly jokes through these ways.
Stick to the warning sign that I already mentioned – Don’t believe on everything said. Try to notice, if there are any odd behaviors or some hints of inconsistencies. If you find the person is so uncertain for you, then don’t think more. Simply stop chatting.
Don’t be too eager in meeting the person:
When the time comes for you to meet up, think again about for how much extent you know about the person or do you know everything about the person as close as possible.
If your heart gave a signal as YES, then think again. There is a chance for it to be wrong. Think about are there anything which you don’t know about his/her?
Ensure that you have already known the person well before arranging a date to meet outside the world.
If the person is forcing to meet before you get ready to meet then there is a possibility that the person is fooling at you.
Finally, if you have decided to meet, go with caution. If possible, arrange the meeting based on what you want. Before you meet, ask for the person’s details like address, phone number, and a photo also.
Nowadays most of the people are drawn to engage into cyber relationship. Thus, most of you have started relationships with the people whom you haven’t met before. So, be smart and open your minds in identifying the scams of cyber relationships.
Posted in: Love & Relationships