Posted on Feb 09, 2009 | Comments 1
This is an undeniable and inescapable fact: the targets of abuse in an abusive relationship are constantly blamed for the insulting and obnoxious abusive behavior of the abuser, and also for the consequences of the abuse.
The abused are battered emotionally, physically and psychologically, leaving scars for years to come, and yet they do tend to stick on in the relationship that gives them more pain than any kind of pleasure at all.
Take for instance the experience of Jane. This woman was in an abusive relationship with her partner Dan for eight years.
She was humiliated, criticized, belittled, and subjected to cruel derogatory comments about everything ranging from her looks to her hair to her knowledge to her capacity for work.
She was abused for her â€˜transgressionsâ€™ for which she would apologize repeatedly.
Jane had lost all sense of self respect and self esteem, and she lacked the confidence to do anything on her own after having been in this sort of abusive relationship over a prolonged period of time, and sadly, despite being aware of the fact that she was in an abusive relationship from which she needed to escape.
She did manage to escape, nevertheless. If you are in an abusive relationship and feel that you want put of it, then let me give you a few tips on how you can take things into your own hands again and end this relationship once and for all.
- First and foremost, recognize that you are in fact in an abusive relationship.
- Learn not to make excuses for your abusive partner, no matter how appealing he may be to you. You must arrive at a decision and stick to it.
- Make sure that your safety is never compromised, no matter what. Violence is never ever acceptable, and if you sit down and think and find that you have started to make excuses for your partnerâ€™s violent behavior towards you, then it is time indeed to take a second look at what you are doing and where you are going.
- Formulate a practical and logical escape plan. This will include things like where you will go after you escape and leave your partner, what finances you have available to you, what kind of emotional support is available to you, and where you will go from there onwards.
- Conduct a research on the laws that are available to you and that can be used to protect yourself and your children too if necessary. Always keep the emergency number 911 keyed into your cell phone, and teach your children to use it too if necessary, especially if you are in danger.
Remember, no one can predict what will happen, but if you feel that you have finally gathered up your courage to take action and escape out of this disastrously abusive relationship, then by all means, donâ€™t stop, just do it.
Saving yourself and your children is of utmost importance, and you must not regret leaving your abusive partner, or blaming yourself for whatever has happened, ever.
Posted in: Love & Relationships