Posted on Nov 29, 2011 | Comments 0
Money can be an issue in any relationship though we may think that it shouldn’t be. Money can tilt the balance of power; it can create unwanted secrets, it can create resentment; it can even breed suspicion.
And then when things are tight, such as when a recession is on and lay-offs are feared and budgets stretched tight, this can put an even greater strain on the relationship.
Consider the reasons why money can impact relationships
1. It can be a reality check. During the dating days, a couple may be generous, even lavish towards each other.
Marriage and living on a budget can act as a wakeup call, that many may find unwelcome.
2. There could be simple disagreementsabout how a given sum of money is to be spent that can create conflict.
Suppose there is an unexpected windfall – one spouse may have the practical idea of getting double glazing to improve home insulation; the other may want to splurge on a cruise.
3. There could even be resentment at unequal incomes. This can be particularly problematic for men, since they have been socialized to be the breadwinners of the family, and they can feel inadequate if the wife earns more, to put it crudely.
4. Lack of communication and lack of time are other problems that can add to the financial woes. Not finding the time to discuss and find a way out of financial problems can be another reason why finances can pressure relationships.
Discussion can help bring out a resolution when the funds are limited and the probable expenses considerable.
To find out if finances or the recession is affecting your relationship, look for the following signs-
Do you fight about money?
The occasional disagreement may not be a problem, but consistent disagreements about how and what money should be spent on may put an undue burden on a relationship, and could also be a sign that a couple may actually have different priorities in life.
Are you always in debt?
Do you have unpaid credit card bills and other liabilities that you have yet to discharge. These can put alot of pressure not only on one or the other spouse but even consequently on the relationship itself.
Are you responsible about spending?
This will need some amount of introspection – do you make purchases on the spur of the moment; on an impulse or a whim? Do you seem not be able to help yourself? To be sure, due to ATMs everywhere, the convenience of online shopping and easy internet banking being the norm today, it has never been easier to spend money and shop. It can all be very tempting and easy, but are you able to resist the temptation to spend when you really should?
Do you keep secrets from each other?
Secrets and subterfuge can be really pernicious to a relationship; rather like infidelity. If you don’t trust your partner enough to share everything regarding expenses and finances, this could be the sign of really fissures in a relationship. This could manifest in actual lies or simply avoiding speaking about money.
Posted in: Love & Relationships