If you want your relationship not to deteriorate any further, you need to take cognizance of the warning signs of marriage problems. They may be over or they may be subtle, but it is important not to ignore them in the hope that they go away.
You need to acknowledge that problems exist and that something needs doing.
Constant bickering and trying to score points
Some amount of arguing and disagreement is natural in any relationship and some difference of opinion could serve to keep things interesting.
But if the arguing has turned to fighting and if the fighting has become a means to scoring points of each other, these are signs of marriage problems.
Further if the bickering is constant and unlike in the past, you can’t seem to work it out any more, then your marriage could well being in trouble.
Constant fighting also indicates a trust deficit, which is not good for any relationship.
Looking for distractions
This may be one of the subtler signs of marriage problems. On the face of it things are cheerful, but beneath the surface is the desire to fill up time with unimportant activities to avoid facing real issues.
The TV is always on, you’re always meeting up with friends for drinks, you don’t do dates like you used to.
Lack of intimacy
Intimacy is of various kinds: physical, emotional, spiritual and if there is a lack of intimacy in your relationship then you need to worry. Any sort of disconnect is one of the dangerous signs of marriage problems. If you no longer feel the need to ‘be’ with your spouse in any sense of the word, or the other way around, this is inimical to the relationship.
Apathy or indifference may be a bigger sign of marriage problems than actual friction. Indifference is an emotion that has moved beyond hate and reached a stage where things don’t matter one way or another. You may or your spouse be doing your own thing more and more; different interests, separate sets of friends and really nothing in common anymore!
In the beginning, you used to present a united front before the kids. Now however you cannot seem to agree on parenting methods and may even contradict one another in front of the kids. Not only is this a parenting no-no, this could also be one of the signs of marriage problems.