Posted on Aug 22, 2006 | Comments 0
Romance is the ideal way to make your relationship with your spouse special. Romance keeps the passion and love alive in any relationship, but just like most good things romance comes with a few rules and regulations in order to make it work.
Romance can be planned or spontaneous and both are perfectly acceptable. Spontaneous romance is nearly always wonderful because both you and your spouse are often caught up in the moment and you are both sharing an intimate experience together.
It is often when you plan romance that mistakes can be made if you arenâ€™t aware of the rules and regulations of romance.
Understanding Your Spouse
When you bring romance into your relationship, it is crucial that you understand it is your spouse who defines what is romantic. You can give her chocolates, flowers and jewelry until you are broke, but it wonâ€™t do a thing for your marriage if she doesnâ€™t like chocolate, flowers and jewelry. The same goes for wives giving to husbands. Pay attention to his or her likes and dislikes. Thereâ€™s no point in cooking a special meal all day long if heâ€™s got a craving for chicken wings.
Relationship should always come first in your life
The most important rule of romance is that your relationship should always come first in your life. While this may be a complicated concept for those who have put so much time and effort into your career, but when you are retired and cuddling with your spouse on the front porch you most likely wonâ€™t be wishing you had spent more time at work.
Everything in your life should be an outpouring from your relationship. Everything you do should be because of your marriage and the love you share with your spouse.
When thinking about this idea, be sure not to mistake it with being the one in your relationship who must always suffer for the sake of principle. That can only hurt your relationship. A good marriage consists of two people who always support and encourage each other.
Romance doesnâ€™t always mean presenting gifts. Gifts are wonderful gestures, especially if they are something he or she can truly appreciate but they cannot compensate for some of the more important romantic gestures in a relationship- special time with each other.
Special time with each other doesnâ€™t mean going out and doing things each weekend. Spending times together on the sofa or not rushing through dinner and enjoy each otherâ€™s company is very romantic. Give it a try and youâ€™ll see how romantic simple time together can truly be!
When two people get married and their lives grow together, there seems to be less and less opportunity for spontaneity. This isnâ€™t a bad thing! Planning is simply creating the opportunity. Plan out a week or even an entire month of romance.
Plan your Anniversary celebration. Plan a surprise night out on the town. The element of surprise is just as good as spontaneity. In fact, itâ€™s probably better. You spent time putting thought and effort into your gesture. Impulsive is great, but planned can be better.
Romance & Marriage Myths
Marriage is surrounded by a number of myths, stories and advice freely offered by people on a daily basis. Unfortunately, many people listen to and believe these pieces of so-called wisdom to the point where it doesnâ€™t help their marriage and it only hinders its growth.
Many of the myths regarding relationships are incredibly damaging and it is unfortunate that they are such common beliefs. Once you realize why certain bits of advice or information can be regarded as myths, you can break through what could be blocking the growth of your marriage relationship. In fact, you may in fact learn to appreciate your spouse and your role in your marriage even more.
Romance Is All You Need
Romance is all you need in order to save your relationship is a wonderfully optimistic thought, but not quite correct. If simple romance were sufficient to save a marriage, it would be running wonderfully rampant throughout the world today.
Unfortunately, it takes more than simple romance. If you truly feel love for your spouse and you are expressing it through romance, then it will save your marriage.
If you are trying to use romance to buy some time or to placate your spouse, then you are only buying time or placating your spouse. Your time as a married couple is most likely limited and should be attended to immediately by a professional.
Nice Guys Finish Last
Nice guys finish last is one of the worst possible sayings floating around today. Whoever thought of that and in fact uttered those words must have been feeling truly low and full of self-pity because there simply cannot be any other explanation. Nice guys never finish last.
They may have a longer and harder road sometimes, but it isnâ€™t often that you see the bullies and jerks finishing first. If they arenâ€™t, who is? Itâ€™s the nice guys, but they are so nice and gracious you donâ€™t hear them bragging about it. It is also significant to note that the word â€˜niceâ€™ doesnâ€™t mean â€˜weakâ€™ or â€˜effeminateâ€™ in any way.
Nice means socially or conventionally correct; refined or virtuous and not at all negative in any way. Nice is not another word for push over or spineless. Nice is as close to a â€˜perfectâ€™ man as you can come and they always end up first in line.
Battle between the Sexes
Sensationalist television, magazines and talk radio have been key players when it comes to fueling any belief that there is a battle between the sexes happening. While there are definitively some physical and psychological differences, they are not enough to earn the term â€˜battleâ€™ as a description.
You risk grouping all men or all women into a certain category and that leads to stereotyping when you allow yourself to consider any kind of battle between the sexes.
Once you recognize that your partner is a unique individual with a number of positive attributes, you can shed the thought that there should be any type of conflict between the two of you. Any thought of battle or conflict only leads to lack of communication, misunderstandings and discourages growth in any relationship.
Posted in: Improve Marriage