Posted on Apr 26, 2006 | Comments 0
Itâ€™s wonderful, fun and especially rewarding to be romantic but unfortunately, many people make mistakes. We all make mistakes in relationships that can simply undo all of the good that has been done by romantic efforts.
For example, every couple has disagreements and upon occasion the argument has an ultimate outcome. The spouse that was right during the argument has two choices when â€˜winningâ€™.
He or she cannot see it as winning and simply move on or express understanding as to why there may have been some confusion. Or, he or she can gloat and make their spouse feel inferior and possibly humiliated. One works and one doesnâ€™t.
When two people from two different backgrounds with different beliefs are brought together, conflict is often unavoidable. The worst thing you can do is to show displeasure, if you happen to be the one in a disagreement who doesnâ€™t come out as the â€˜rightâ€™ one or you donâ€™t get your way.
Itâ€™s simply childish, not sexy at all and your partner will most likely have a difficult time finding respect for you as a result.
Although worry is a natural part of life, try not to let it devastate your relationship. Wouldnâ€™t your rather focus on much more positive things like romance? Sit down and try to eliminate some commitments, if you find that you and your spouse schedule a lot during the week.
Donâ€™t over-schedule any time that you donâ€™t have to, including vacations and weekends.
Make Choices That Benefit You Both
Make choices that benefit both you and your spouse. Ask your wife or husband if they would like to play a board game or go for a walk, instead of turning on the television.
Try to support your spouseâ€™s authority in front of the children. Never guess at the plot or give away the ending of a movie, if you decide to watch television together.
Wait until you can talk quietly with your spouse and discuss why and how things may have been done differently, if you disagree about what was done. He or she can always go back and change their mind or you may eventually come to support his or her decisions.
Use â€˜Usâ€™ Instead Of â€˜Youâ€™
Instead of about â€˜youâ€™, make as much as possible in your relationship about â€˜usâ€™. This doesnâ€™t mean that you or your spouse has to sacrifice his or her individuality. It simply means that instead of your own individual needs, all decisions and thoughts about the relationship should be about both needs.
For example, if you happen to be or sleep with someone who â€˜hogsâ€™ the bed covers go out and find an extra, extra large blanket so that thereâ€™s plenty for both to share. Donâ€™t make an issue out of it- make a joke and provide a solution.
Show your spouse that you are a loving and mature individual by doing mature and loving things like never holding feeling of resentments or continuously bringing up mistakes from the past.
You can also be a good listener, never interrupt and wait your turn. And most importantly, donâ€™t permit a day to go by without telling your spouse that you love him or her.
Posted in: Improve Marriage