Posted on Aug 17, 2009 | Comments 1
When two people live together in a marriage, there is bound to be any number of disagreements and open conflicts, and it may be up to the partners to try to bring about a solution to the conflicts, or just ignore them and keep on living a life of tension and unease.
Although there may be any number of solutions offered for the couple to bring an end to the tensions, eventually it is up to them to resolve to live peacefully with each other.
Here are some tips to resolve conflicts
- Both the partners must be wiling and able to consider the marriage as a life long commitment to each other, with no need to get out in the middle.
- Earlier in the marriage, both the partners must form a sort of pact that states that all disagreements within the marriage will be shared equally, that is, fifty/fifty by both of them. This will prevent them from laying blame squarely for any disagreement on one partner, while leaving the other free and clear. This will never work, and if on the other hand, responsibility is shared equally, there will be a reason to work out the conflicts amicably.
- Both the partners must be willing and ready to listen to the otherâ€™s point of view, even if they do not agree with it fully. Acceptance is a part and parcel of married life, and if both the partners are willing to accept opinions that they do not completely agree with, but will still agree to listen to and consider seriously because it is their partnerâ€™s opinion, then they are on the strong and sure path towards bringing an end to their conflicts.
- If there is a burgeoning argument, it would help a great deal if both the partners must sit down and consider carefully what they want to say to the other person before launching angrily into a full fledged quarrel. Also, it would help if both the partners were to agree to bring up only the issue at hand, and not bring in all the past arguments and resentments into this one present argument.
- Both the partners must learn to focus fully and only on the current issue, instead of using any tension to attack each other personally.
- Most importantly, both the partners must agree that all conflicts must be resolved at least to some extent before bedtime. This can in fact be one of the golden rules of keeping a marriage alive and well and healthy, because it forces the partners to come to an agreement before going to bed.
Remember, the partners have to try to resolve the conflicts, not win or lose!
Posted in: Improve Marriage