Posted on Feb 28, 2007 | Comments 0
Follow Your Instincts
Most of the times, people will simply keep going in the same direction when things are going in a wrong direction with the hope that things work themselves out. The result is generally negative.
Rather, listen to your gut feelings, your inner instincts. If you believe that something is bothering your spouse or not right in your relationship, keep it between you and your spouse and work things out as a couple.
Make Eye Contact
You may not think this is important, but think back to the first time you saw your now spouse. More than likely, the first interaction was through eye contact.
If your spouse is giving a speech and you are there to offer support, attentively look at them, making directly eye contact and offer a warm reassuring smile, or if you are having dinner during the holidays with a large group of family and friends, glance over to your spouse and give them a seductive wink. Eyes can say a lot!
The words, “I love you,” are always welcomed but why not add some creativity to the way you tell your spouse you love them.
Rent a billboard in a location where you know your spouse drives every day that clearly says, “I love you,” request that your spouse’s radio station play a special song and message on his or her way to work, or if celebrating a special anniversary, have a skywriter fly by a ball stadium, park, or somewhere special where you are spending quality time together outdoors.
Understand that occasionally, it is significant to throw an exciting curve into your relationship. If you are in a routine for instance of offering your spouse a quick peck on the lips before you part ways for the day, try adding a soft, gentle kiss on the neck.
You can be assured that, this change in routine, is what will be on your spouse’s mind throughout the day.
Learn More about Your Spouse
Either find a good questionnaire or create one that does not dig up the past, but highlights on discovering other qualities about each other. One happily married couple did this and the wife, who had been standing by her husband for more than 10 years, discovered that he used to be a competitive ice skater. She had no idea.
Most often, people miss the beautiful miracle of a sunrise or sunset. Schedule time to get up early one morning with a thermos of hot coffee or cappuccino and find a calm place where the two of you can go just to watch the sun rise or set. Appreciate what nature has to offer and share it with each other.
One of the great ways of spending time together, holding each other without saying a word is to find a nice place where the two of you can enjoy a slow dance.
Remember that to accomplish this, you can stay home and simply move some furniture out of the way, light some candles, and put on your favorite soft music and enjoy some quiet, romantic time together.
Find something they you are both interested in exploring and do it together. For instance, if you live in a place where there are caves, make a day of driving around and exploring caves. Be sure to take the right equipment and safety precautions but this puts you both in a position of trusting each other and discovering something new and exciting together.
Each person has their own set of history when two people come together in a relationship. There are yearbooks, maybe love letters from a first love, other objects that may not seem significant to one person but to the owner, they have a special meaning.
It is significant to respect the privacy of your spouse’s “stuff.” Do not dig through boxes of things owned by your spouse out of curiosity. Instead, allow them to bring those things out if they feel it is essential.
You are disrespecting something sacred to your spouse by helping yourself, which is not healthy for any relationship.
To Tell or Not to Tell
Experts will disagree on how much of a person’s past should be shared in a relationship and while some things probably should be shared, most people lean more to not sharing every part of the past.
First, it is the past. Think back to how much people grow through the teen years to mid-twenties. It will create distrust, insecurity, and more questions than answers. Be wise when sharing by offering needless information.