Your relationships are supposed to make you feel good about yourself, challenge your ways of thinking, broaden your horizons and lift you up when you are down, share in your joy when you are happy.
Your healthy relationships will be ones you look forward to nurturing.
So are you in a relationship that doesnâ€™t necessarily fit these criteria in fact the relationship can make you feel downright badly about yourself? Verbally abusive relationships arenâ€™t just with a boyfriend or husband they can be with a co-worker, a friend, a sibling even a parent.
In an effort to determine if you are in a verbally abusive relationship ask yourself the following questions:
- Do you spend a lot of time worried and stressed out about the relationship?
- After having conversations with this person do you feel you cannot think, say or do anything right?
- Does this person make you feel like you are to blame for everything that goes wrong? For example, if you feel you may be in a verbally abusive relationship with a parent do they blame things on you such as break-ups and losing jobs?
- Is this person placing unreasonable demands on you?
- Do they constantly criticize you and berate you because you donâ€™t meet their expectations?
Know this: you are in a verbally abusive relationship if this person (friend, parent, co-worker, and sibling) puts you down, calls you names, threatens you or is overly critical of you.
Sometimes using the word â€˜abuseâ€™ can overwhelm and we tend to try to stay away from it. Abuse does not have to mean hitting or beating abuse can also mean a behavior designed to control or subjugate someone through humiliation, fear, guilt and coercion or manipulation. It has been said that emotional and physical abuse are the wearing away of the victimâ€™s self-confidence and trust in their own percepts.
If you feel you are in a verbally abusive relationship this is a very toxic situation and you need to get out immediately. Seek therapy if you must for help if it is a family member or good friend. Bottom line is, after an extended period of time being involved in an emotionally or verbally abusive relationship you will believe you are worthless, that no one will want you and your ultimate fear will be ending up alone.