Posted on Dec 16, 2006 | Comments 1
Sometimes males experience painful emotions since they do not know what to do to resolve things.
To improve on communication, men must learn to resist the urge to take the problem completely off a female counterpart’s shoulders.
Don’t offer additional solutions. Because women talk about problems does not mean they don’t know how to crack them. Women want men to pay attention to them.
you don’t have agreed always with women to have good communication. If you disagree, however, you’ll be better able to get your point across if you wait until they are finished talking.
Men often try to talk over each other when they differ. They raise their voices and disrupt each other. Women interpret these actions as power plays, and communication suffers.
The most efficient way a man can get better his communication skills with a woman is by listening to her feelings. Since he is coming from a different viewpoint, this may not be easy.
Unpleasant Feelings Affects Good Conversation
The first thing a man should do is to remember how quickly unpleasant feelings can arise in a conversation that he feels is going well.
These feelings come from not listening with an understanding of the woman’s viewpoint. So as to have a good gender communication happen, a man must start taking the accountability for understanding the way women talk.
When you start to become upset, don’t blame her. Her feelings are valid even if they don’t make sense to you right away.
Prior to coming to any conclusion, try to see the situation by means of her eyes. Keep in mind a woman’s primary communication needs and use your conversation to make her feel validated, respected, and understood.
Take the time to encourage her and let her know that you respect what she is saying and feeling. Make her feel that you are listening to her and your communication will get better.
In addition, do not pretend to understand when you don’t, and do not automatically start defending yourself. You communicate better with women if you admit when you don’t understand.
If you disagree and feel strongly about the issue, let her know that what she said is significant to you. Then softly explain your point of view.
If you make a mistake, particularly when you have slighted her feelings, say sorry. If you listen and recognize her feelings, you’ll close the gender gap and open the door to efficient communications.
Tendency With Women
Women have a tendency to break the silence with comments like, “Oh, never mind,” or “It’s not that important,” or “Don’t bother.” Women also have an inclination to ask tag questions, with qualifiers. This makes their statements less powerful and realistic.
In order to get their point across, men often talk over women, or speak louder. This makes women feel unequally matched. Worse, it can be interpreted by women as a means of control.
The soft spoken more tentative style frequently found in women can be wrongly interpreted as being uninformed or unsure.
Sharing Feelings with a Man
When sharing feelings with a man, let him know you are not trying to tell him what to do. Don’t ask him too many questions or he may feel you are prying, or trying to change him. He will either become defensive or agree with you for the moment to pacify you.
Pausing For Gender Communication
In gender , pausing is a practical and useful application. This gives the listener the opportunity to think about the speaker’s primary needs before responding.
This is particularly useful when a female asks a male for support or a favor. Allow the male to work through his resistance. As long as you remain silent, you stand a good chance of getting what you asked for.
Posted in: Communication Skills