Archive for the 'Love & Relationships' Category

Why do we have relationships in the first place? Some relationships bring us happiness and companionship.

Other relationships bring us material benefits. Ultimately, relationships are meant to be rewarding.

However, there are times when relationships get in the way of other relationships, work and time alone. Any time spent on one relationship takes your time away from another relationship.

Some days, loneliness sets in. Other days, the phone seems to ring off the hook. What do you do when your relationships feel unmanageable?

What’s the most important thing in life?

How do we know which relationships have a greater priority over others? In the 21st century, many women are torn between their relationship with their children and their relationship with their bosses. [Ways to improve relationship]

Many mothers and fathers feel that they must work out of necessity, but no guilt is worse than the guilt of having neglected a developing child.

Ranking your priorities

Though children and finances should always be top priorities, other priorities are difficult to rank. If enough money is being brought into the household, should the father really take that promotion that will take him far away from the home?

You might feel that you are overwhelmed by the number of people who want your time.

Or maybe you feel that you just can’t find the right guy/girl/friend/client/boss.

You might be afraid of becoming a social hermit. To avoid this, you jump head first into the relationship pool without your inner lifeguard. Repeat after me.

There are plenty of fish in the sea. Life is short. Relationships take time to maintain and build. Any time that you spend on one relationship is time taken away from other relationships.

Why waste time on relationships that bring you unhappiness when you can spend time on relationships that bring you happiness? [unhealthy relationship]

You can find wonderful people who want to be with you. You can find people with the same interests and beliefs as you. If you exist, there’s a chance that there are others like you that exist as well.

Rule 1: Know thyself

This might sound obvious, but you cannot get what you want unless you know what you want. But more importantly, you should know what other people might be able to get out of you.

A common phenomenon in victims of physical or psychological abuse is that they often remain attached to the relationship even though they are humiliated and abused by their partners.

The consequences of abusive relationships remain for years to come, and deeply scar the victims’ psychological balance.

Verbal abuse goes quite deeply in shattering the victims’ confidence and self esteem, she finds herself repeatedly apologizing for things she cannot justly be accused of.

In spite of this verbal and at times physical violence, victims cannot find the courage to tear themselves away from their partners, although they suffer from more hardship than pleasure.

For those afflicted by abusive relationships and wishing to break away from the perpetual mistreatment, but cannot face up with the consequences, it is important to face the evidence, that they are in fact victims.

It is important to recognize violence and not make excuses for one’s partner; it is essential to admit to the evident insulting behavior. Once these aspects are clear, prepare a getaway strategy.

This strategy must be both practical and logical; important factors must be considered, such as a place to move to, financial and emotional support you may need and any laws liable to protect you or if need be your children.

In all probability, everyone survives at least one breakup of their relationship, once in their lifetime.

Although it may not help you much, it is a fact that breakups happen very often, it happens to almost everyone, and everyone survives, although everyone has a different healing capacity and capability.

Never forget; although things may look bleak and miserable in the immediate aftermath of the breakup in your relationship, the hurt and pain do dissipate gradually, eventually.

Here are some tips that will show you how to cope with the breakup:

• It is okay if you are feeling sad and depressed about life in general; everyone who has had to suffer through a breakup of a relationship, no matter how long it may have lasted will go through a period of sadness, almost like mourning.
• Do not hesitate to ask your close friends or relatives for help; they will only be too glad to support you through this turbulent period of your life. In addition, having a person you know cares for you close by will work wonders on your lost self esteem, and you will be able to recover from that all enveloping feeling of loneliness and desperation that accompanies a breakup.

It is a devastating feeling indeed to discover that your partner has been cheating on you for a long while now, and what is worse, you did have an inkling of a suspicion, but preferred to shelve it away, thinking that your partner would not do such a thing.

Don’t worry; this happens more often than you would think, and it is very common to have a partner cheat, thereby almost destroying the relationship… In fact, statistics show that cheating is much more common than monogamy!

There are quite a few myths associated with this phenomenon, and it would be a good idea to know all you can about them:

• People cheat because they are unhappy at home and in a relationship: Although this may be true for women, it is not true for men. Women who cheated reported that they were unhappy in their marriage, and that was one of the main reasons why they sought solace elsewhere. For men, however, this was not the case; almost fifty five percent of men reported that they were never averse to a fling on the side, even if they were completely happy in their marriage!

Love is not only essential for happiness, but has also been shown to reap health benefits.

Be it romantic love, marriage, or a vigorous sex life, love has been shown to ease all sorts of ills.

Recent research has shown that male mice with female companions live longer and are also able to reproduce at a much older age.

Despite having no real direct physical effect, merely having love and companionship can keep you healthy and fit.

Marriage and Lifespan

The fact that married men live longer than single men is well known. Men who are married are twice as likely to see a doctor and are more likely to see that doctor sooner.

Married couples generally have more of an income flow. While money isn’t the only thing that’ll make you happy, those with better incomes are able to afford better healthcare and healthier food.

Also, those who are married are less likely to use alcohol, less likely to commit suicide, less likely to have accidents, and less likely to suffer from medical problems such as heart disease, stroke and cancer.

Generally, married couples have stronger immune systems than those who are single. Mental disorders like schizophrenia and depression are also lower in marriages.

Here’s what Jane told her friend, “My Mom is the worst! She always plays favorites! Yesterday when my sister Betty asked permission to go out and stay late, my Mom calmly said, “OK’ and even smiled at her, but when I asked her the same thing today, she gave me such a look when she said a firm ‘No!’

How come Betty gets to go out and not me, after all she is only two years older than me? I hate my Mom!”

These words may be quite commonly heard in any house that has teenagers living in it, and quarrels and arguments and fights between children and heir mothers, especially between daughters and mothers at this age are extremely common indeed.

In fact, if this did not happen, then I should suspect that there is something wrong somewhere!

If you are a daughter or son and want to change things for the better with your Mom, here are a few tips for you:

• Talk to her! Tell her that her rules are stifling you or whatever, and open up your feelings to her. After all, she knows you better than anyone else at this point, and you are aware that she cares for you a great deal.

This is an undeniable and inescapable fact: the targets of abuse in an abusive relationship are constantly blamed for the insulting and obnoxious abusive behavior of the abuser, and also for the consequences of the abuse.

The abused are battered emotionally, physically and psychologically, leaving scars for years to come, and yet they do tend to stick on in the relationship that gives them more pain than any kind of pleasure at all.

Take for instance the experience of Jane. This woman was in an abusive relationship with her partner Dan for eight years.

She was humiliated, criticized, belittled, and subjected to cruel derogatory comments about everything ranging from her looks to her hair to her knowledge to her capacity for work.

She was abused for her ‘transgressions’ for which she would apologize repeatedly.

Jane had lost all sense of self respect and self esteem, and she lacked the confidence to do anything on her own after having been in this sort of abusive relationship over a prolonged period of time, and sadly, despite being aware of the fact that she was in an abusive relationship from which she needed to escape.