You may think of yourself as being blunt or outspoken; or you may tell yourself that you just don’t take any nonsense from others. But viewed from the other side these could be signs of anger issues. You may think that venting your anger is a healthy way of getting rid of it; but the venting could actually be making things worse. Here are some indications that you really may have anger issues:
1. People seem scared of you
One of the signs of anger issues is that your behavior is such that it causes others to fear you. In particular, subordinates or children; or others in positions of less power than you may be scared of you.
They may be hesitant to approach you, because of the sort of reaction you may have. They may often preface an idea or a request with “don’t be angry but…”
And it isn’t just yelling or you losing your temper that they may be scared of. It could be that you turn scathing and sarcastic when you get angry. Your words may not be loud but they may be very wounding to the other person.
2. Minor irritants become major ones
Mud spattering on a freshly washed car, someone else taking the cab you were eying, your child not doing their home work properly, a colleague being tardy or a spouse forgetting to run an errand – these are minor irritants and should be treated as such.
However if you find yourself over-reacting to them then these could be signs of anger issues that you have.
3. Even memories can make you angry
You may find that your irritant doesn’t even have to be present; the mere recall of in irritating occurrence or person could set you off.
4. Aggression and violence
If you’ve ever gotten violent in anger – struck out at someone, shoved them out of the way, smashed your fist in to a wall, smashed crockery then you really need to take note of your behavior. Even if you’re overtly aggressive – trying to be physically intimidating, shaking your fist, raising your hand (even if you don’t strike) – this is a type of violence to the other person.
5. You get angry with your whole body
Other signs of anger issues are overt or physical. You find your face contorting and reddening in anger, you clench your fists, your muscles tense up, and your jaw becomes rigid. All or any of these could indicate that you need to learn to manage your anger.