Posted on Apr 29, 2006 | Comments 0
Life’s disappointments and our inability to cope with all kinds of stress sometimes unleashes the kind of anger that goes beyond words. There seems to be so much anger in our society today, sometimes leading to fatal actions and other misdeeds.
Anger seems to have gained control of our daily lives and resulted in much anguish and pain. Coping with anger is essential, since when we explode in uproars we are only causing more problems.
Anger develops throughout the years, while we grow to adults. We may have lived in a normal environment, but our parents may have dramatized some of the natural growing processes while we were children. When this happens, it affects our developing process and we may grow up lacking coping skills.
You will fare better when your emotions are threatened, if you practice positive thinking, which means you will have control over your anger. One great way to look at anger is that it is a positive force, however when it is utilized improperly then it is a negative force. Either we let our anger to control us, or we control our anger.
Control is what matters to everyone, since we are frustrated easy, if we do not have control.
Work It Off
Suppressing anger is not good for either your physical or mental well being. It can result in headaches, backaches, insomnia, and assorted personality disorders. It’s far healthier to get rid of it in a constructive way–through some demanding physical activity, for example, like jogging, squash, bowling, or punching a bag.
See The Humor In The Situation
It’s perfectly all right to take your work seriously, but that doesn’t mean that you must also take yourself seriously. Whatever it is that is making you so mad must have a funny side to it as well, if you know where to look. Find the humor and appreciate it.
The editor and writer, Norman Cousins, credited laughter with helping to save him from a debilitating disease by changing his mental outlook from negative to positive. Whether or not you accept this, it does appear to work for many people; you may be one of them. It’s certainly worth trying.
One great coping tactic is learning self-talk. Take 15 minutes out of each day to review your thoughts and talk them over with your self. If you have a series of negative thoughts, such as I am a failure.
Then you want to ask your self why you are a failure. Evaluate all the good things you do each day and commend your self and when you see your mistakes remember everyone makes mistakes and there are probably no consequences to the mistake you made.
Postpone Your Anger
Remember Scarlett O’Hara’s philosophy? “I’ll worry about that tomorrow,” she used to say. The same approach can work for anger. If at all possible, when something upsets you, busy yourself with something else that is emotionally positive. Time has a way of putting things into perspective and by postponing anger, you increase the odds of minimizing its effects.
Think of the consequences, if you get angry easy and break things, or yell and scream when you are reviewing your day. You made a mess, if you break things and it needs to be cleaned up. This means you have to work an extra few minutes during the day to clean up your mess.
When you are angry if you yell or scream then you are upsetting your heart, nerves, mind, and body. This means that in the end you may have long-term medical conditions. You resolved nothing and the item you broke if of valuable would cost you when you replace it. This means you wasted time, energy and money.
Now you can look at positive anger. You might find that your anger is unjustifiable, if you take a few short breaths. On the other hand, you might want to slow down think for a few minutes and find a way to stress your emotions without interrupting your body, mind and health, if there is justifiable cause for your anger.
If you think about a person that throws honey instead of fueling the fire often gets further than those that blow up out of anger. You need a coping strategy to help you deal with the stress if you are fanatically running through each day without slowing down.
It is important to set a schedule in motion for your self so that you find time for you. When you pamper you then you are taking a step to coping with your anger. When you have, many tasks set up during a day then make a list of what needs done first.
Face The Fact That Life Doesn’t Always Live Up To Expectations
It never has; it never will–not all the time. Besides, if it weren’t for frustration, disappointment, and failure, how would we recognize fulfillment, contentment, and triumph? If this doesn’t work, consider the fact that whatever is making you so angry today won’t matter a hill of beans a year from now … perhaps sooner.
Posted in: Anger Management