Aggression and Assertiveness

We can review anger and aggression to have a deeper understanding of our emotions and work toward anger management. Often when a person feels frustrated he or she is subject to ignite when their emotions are threatened.


Frustration does not occur over night; rather frustration occurs when underlying issues come to focus. Frustration then is a profound unrelieved sense or state of lack of confidence and displeasure arising from unsettled problems or discontented needs.

Anger then is the feeling of anger when a person does not get their way, or a series of issues was buried waiting for the time to attack.


Aggression then is a forceful act or modus operandi used to dominate another individual. Aggression is an argumentative, destructive or harmful behavior or viewpoint especially when caused by frustration.

Aggression can be good if our lives are in danger, but in most cases aggression causes harm.

An Example of Aggression

For instance, a couple engages in an argument and a fight breaks out. One of the individuals was blamed of spreading lies against the other person. The violent episode attracts the neighbors and the cops are called.

Both parties are placed in handcuffs and both are taking to jail when the police arrived. Their problem increases since they both may pay fines, court cost, and likely pay probation fees. Therefore, one problem led to a series of problems and it does not stop there.

When the couple is free of all fines, costs, jail and so forth they will have a police record where everyone will judge them for the rest of their lives, viewing them as immature and violent people.


Assertive on the other hand is an efficient form of conveying your feelings to another individual without causing injury, destruction or arguments. Assertive is a strong, bold confident we have within that helps us to guard our rights when others wrong us.

We can learn good behaviors, while controlling our life and avoiding more problems, if we learn the difference between aggression and assertiveness. If you are frustrated, you might want to sit down and review your beliefs, opinions, theories, reasoning and so forth.

By reviewing the sources that make you angry you can decrease the tension when you see that blowing up is not worth your time or effort, since the frustrations are out of your control.

An Example of Assertiveness

Now let us look at an example were assertiveness was used in the scene. A couple confronts each other after one person spreads lies throughout the neighborhood about the other person.

The person victimized by the rumors walks up to the opponent and says, why are you telling people that I have a drinking problem? The other person might say, I did not tell anyone that you have a drinking problem.

Wrong says the first person, you told my best friend who is not a liar. Well, I assumed that you had a drinking problem because you drink every time I come to your house. Because I drink every time you come to my house does not mean I have a problem.

I refuse to allow you to continue dragging my name in the mud and nor will I allow you to visit my home again if you continue lying against me. Friends do not harm other friends.

If you have issues with me confront me with them instead of going behind my back. Very good job! This person did a wonderful job asserting self and the results will most likely prove fruitful.

Let us see what happens. I am sorry; I did not mean to offend you. I will confront you the next time I have a problem. I am concerned however that your drinking my be a problem, since you do drink every I visit your home. Well, then let us go to my place and discuss the issue.



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

fifteen − nine =